Don’t let your imagination be crushed by life as a whole. Don’t try to picture everything bad that could possibly happen. Stick with the situation at hand and ask, “Why is this so unbearable? Why can’t I endure it?” You’ll be embarrassed to answer.

Then remind yourself that past and future have no power over you. Only the present-and even that can be minimized. Just mark off its limits. And if your mind tries to claim that it can’t hold out against that. ..well, then, heap shame upon it.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Anxiety is a hell of a thing.

It can take a perfectly capable, healthy person and make them feel like a deer caught in headlights. Suddenly, simple things—like going to the grocery store or sitting through a church service—feel like going into inglorious battle.

And the worst part? Anxiety is like a wolf that knows how to hunt for its own dinner. Trauma, bad experiences, and even conditions like ADHD are all prime meals for it. Once anxiety gets fed, it grows, and before you know it, it’s running the show.

I’ve battled anxiety for years. I honestly don’t remember when it showed up, but I do know how it feels. Here’s how I’ve explained it to people:

Having generalized anxiety is like living multiple versions of your life at once, except you’re always five minutes ahead. In one version, everything goes smoothly. In another, the world crumbles in some dramatic fashion. The kicker? You have no clue which version you’re actually in.

Take this moment from my own life: Before I was diagnosed with MS, I had a bad experience in a big grocery store—bright lights, too many people, and the next thing I knew, I was completely disoriented. For months after that, just the idea of walking into a grocery store without my wife made my chest tighten and my brain fog up. I’d drive to the parking lot, sit there like a statue, and then head home empty-handed. Thankfully, a combination of exposure therapy and understanding what was happening in my body helped me get past it. These days, I can pick out avocados without a second thought—or trembling hands. Progress!

Marcus Aurelius, in Meditations, nailed it when he warned against “picturing everything bad that could possibly happen.” Sound familiar? That’s anxiety in a nutshell—trying to forecast and control every potential disaster. But Marcus doesn’t just leave us hanging with the problem. He offers a lifeline: “…remind yourself that the past and the future have no power over you.”

The past? It’s there to teach us—or to be left where it belongs. The future? It’s unwritten. What we do have is the current moment, and deciding to live in it can be a game changer.

Anxiety may try to rob you of the now, but with practice, you can take it back. And hey, it’s worth the work if it means a little less trembling over avocados and a lot more peace in the moment.

Your Pal,

TJ